What was my big breakthrough in therapy this week?
For years, I’ve been focused on the trauma I survived as a child, as my parents related it to me: I was 16 months old, I had an infection in my windpipe, 106 degree temperature and convulsions. Alone in a hospital room, I was unable to breathe. Then a resident came into the room, found me in distress, and slit my throat open, performing an emergency traecheotomy.
I’d always focused on the fear I must have felt and how it affected my panic disorder. But the other night, while meditating, it came to me: that resident saved my life! And I am alive because of him. A dark, terrifying tale became a life affirming, joyful mantra: “I’m alive!”