December 2009

Keep Me In Your Heart

December 30, 2009

This is the last song Warren Zevon recorded before he died, with his family by his side. As I move on, keeping my parents in my heart, it seemed a fitting last post for this year.

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A Line in the Water

December 28, 2009

I spent the first half of this year investigating why I developed a panic disorder, delving into many relevant issues, including what my parents did or didn’t do. But at the Mikvah, submerged underwater, suspended in time for just a few moments, I let go of something heavy. Because I now feel lighter. My parents [...]

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Eternal Light

December 27, 2009

I am still feeling the effects of the mikvah – a lightness of body and spirit that I have never experienced before. I am reminded of Chanei’s words to me: “Your soul is like a flame that is in constant search. It will nag away until it finds expression. Have you ever seen a flame [...]

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Christmas Eve at the Mikvah

December 25, 2009

I spent part of Christmas Eve this year all by myself, deep in thought  at a mikvah, a Jewish woman’s ritual bath, where I immersed myself in water and recited prayers for the first time in my life. I did this at the Chabad Center in New York, after an invigorating conversation/lesson the day before [...]

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An Examined Life

December 22, 2009

I woke up this morning to a blurry-eyed view of my world. A still life on my nightstand, with a glass of water, half full. An optimistic, first-thing-in-the-morning meditation:

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One Cup of Tea

December 20, 2009

My friend Barbara and I attended a Japanese tea ceremony class in New York City at the Urasenke Chanoyu Center, in a serene space similar to the one above. We spent two hours learning how to enter a teahouse with humility, while observing the four principles of harmony, respect, purity and tranquility (and not stepping [...]

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Ode to a Donut

December 19, 2009

After meditation the other night, the thought of eating a warm donut at a local farmstand popped into my head. So the next day I did just that. Slowly. And meditatively.

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Seeing Serra

December 18, 2009

I’ve been doing walking meditation lately, and I am often reminded of Richard Serra, whose sculptures are in themselves walking meditations. To experience them, you have to enter them. They are contradictions: captivating and liberating, intimate and gigantic, claustrophobic and spacious. The streets of Barcelona became Serra sculptures. I see him everywhere I go now.

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Do I Have Purity of Intention?

December 17, 2009

Hilda Charlton said “The purity of the intention of the seeker determines the outcome.” Thank you Eliezer Sobel, for reminding me to examine my intentions.

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“I Won’t Worry My Life Away”

December 15, 2009

I’m approaching the 6 month mark in my first year of meditating, increasingly hopeful that I won’t be worrying my life away in the future.

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